Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Walmart: the 10th Level of Hell

I dislike going to Walmart. It's always crowded, the cashiers are slow ass and you can never find the one last item on your list. But I had to go. Their prices can't be beat. That should be their slogan. Walmart: Over Crowded with slow ass cashiers but our prices can't be beat. That's better than: Save money. Live Better. or their previous slogan: Always Low Prices. But I digress. Today was the day I needed to go. I had avoided it long enough and we were out of food. (Teenagers, especially teenage boys, can eat a lot.) So off we went.

First stop, the Pharmacy. This line is almost as bad as the post office. And of course when I get up there, Bill's prescription is not ready. (note to self: make Bill get his own meds) I'm on a time limit here. Robert will be home from summer school in an hour and I have a weeks worth of food to get. I simply can't wait. Plus Ryker is with me and he has about 20 minutes before he breaks down and everything goes to hell.

Next stop the vegetable and fruit aisle. I pick up some grapes, carrots, potatoes and bananas. At the sight of the bananas, Ryker freaks the fuck out. He wants one and he wants it now! I'm not about to give in, so on to the next aisle. I put some chicken nuggets into the cart. 5 seconds later, they are flying through the air and land at my feet. We have only been in the store 10 minutes! I pick them up and tell Ryker NO! More groceries go in, more get thrown out. Ryker is quite happy with himself. What am I to do? I simply ignore it and keep retrieving the groceries. My patience is wearing thin and once again a package of noodles flies out of the cart. This lands at the feet of Mr. Abercrombie and Fitch. Mr. AF says "Thats the second time I saw him throw something out of the cart."  I mumble an apology and grab the tossed noodles. Yeah, you're lucky I'm not throwing anything. It would have been heavier and I have better aim. At this point, I am done. I still haven't got half my items on my list but we need to get the hell out of there.

I find the check out with 99 customers and not 100 and wait patiently in line. Again, I get the slow ass checker. I start feeding Ryker some Nutter Butter cookies and get a dirty look from the cashier. Hey I'm paying for these, so don't judge me. You try shopping with a 19 month old.

Next time, I'm leaving Ryker in the car... Just kidding.


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